I’ve wanted to write on this subject

for a while, but I wasn’t sure how to get into it. And no, I’m not going to go into a lecture on stealing material (which you shouldn’t do – enough said). I started this humor writing blog for people who want tips on writing humor – regardless of if you’re an up and coming comedian who thinks they’re the next Jay Leno or a business person who wants to kick off their boring sales meeting with some laughs, or maybe you’re a sales guru who has figured out that people do business with people they like and people like people who are funny. Whatever the reason, I’m glad you’re reading it and trying to do some humor.

 And if you read this blog and even buy

my comedy writing book (or anyone’s comedy writing book) and still can’t figure it out, then I’m glad to write some material for you through my joke writing service. . . with exceptions  – there are 2 types of people I will not write for: Comedians – unless they are famous and are burning up material on TV fast, and people who aren’t comedians but got into a comedy contest (like funniest lawyer) and need material so they can win.

I know that sounds mean,

but as a comedian myself, I have no respect for people who try to buy their way to the top of comedy by hiring a writer right off the bat to write their material. There are hundreds of new comedians out there who are working hard to do their own material, and that’s just not right to buy your way in. I’ve had people say things like “I’m funny, I just need good jokes” or “I want to be on the Tonight Show, so write me 5 minutes of material.” If you want to be a comedian for a living or even as a side-gig, you need to do your own material and write from the heart. If you can’t write your own comedy material, then you have no business being in this business. Asking someone to write your comedy material is like a lawyer paying a friend to take the bar exam for them.

And if you’re in some one-time comedy contest,

then double no to writing for you. The other people in the contest are writing their own comedy material so they can win the funniest – you’re not really the funniest if you didn’t write the funny material now are you?

As I said, I’m happy to write

for practically anyone else. . .because if comedy is not your job (or something you hope to make into your job), and you’re not trying to beat people out of a contest, then you may not want to spend time on jokes. I don’t do my own taxes because I don’t want to learn how to do them, but I do read up a little on them so I know something when I talk with my accountant – same principle for comedy. Read what you can, but if it’s not your real gig, then it’s okay to hire some help. It you want it to be your real gig, then work hard at learning how to do the basics.

And by the way, if I could sit down and zip off 5 minutes of killer comedy material that would zoom you up through the comedy ranks and on to the Tonight Show, don’t ya think I would save that 5 for me???