Get your pens ready!

Tis the season. . . for the best comedy ideas on the planet because the holidays are upon us! So I dedicate this blog to 10 things you can safely joke about during the holidays – you’ll have LOTS of material if you pay attention. And no, you don’t have to make people feel bad if their food item didn’t turn out right or they’ve gained a few pounds. There’s plenty of other things to pay attention to:

1. Eating too much . ..

as long as you make it personal, as in YOU ate too much or we are all eating too much (don’t single someone out!), you can joke about the amount of food you stuffed in your mouth, the fact that you’re making new food combinations (broccoli with a pumpkin pie chaser– yum), or a myriad of other food-related jokes. Guaranteed everyone is eating too much, so we can all relate to that.

2. The amount of food available. . .

compare the amount of food to something funny or talk about the table collapsing under the weight. We all know there is too much food. And we are all still stuffing it into our mouths (see above!)

3. The leftovers. . .

But sadly we can’t stuff it ALL into our bellies – so there will be leftovers! Of course don’t point out that Aunt Sally’s jello pudding is ALWAYS leftover. But you can have fun with the fact that people push leftovers on each other. . .and/or 50 things you can do with leftover dinner rolls. Even the word leftover brings up funny thoughts.

Cat and Dog clothing can be hilarious!

Cat and Dog clothing can be hilarious!

4. Christmas clothing.

The ugly Christmas sweater actually got famous for being ugly, and in turn, inspired a bunch of parties! This of course also includes clothing for our precious pets! So go to the mall and notice what people (and their animals) are wearing. . . not only will it give you comedy, but you can check it against what YOU’RE wearing so your outfit doesn’t become a punchline.

5. Santa.

He’s not just for kids to enjoy. . . look closely at the mall Santas – they really do come in all shapes and sizes. . . and attitudes. Start noticing them and you’ll have great material.

6. Gifts.

NOT the ones people gave you! When movie cameras first came out, about 100 years ago, my brother and I did a video making fun of all the stupid gifts that some of the relatives gave us. Guess who we could show that video to? Right, pretty much just the two of us . . . it was funny, but kinda mean. So don’t make fun of what people gave you because they (usually) mean well. . . but rather look at the crap in the stores – the holidays bring out some of the weirdest “gift ideas.” I love the stores that sell the “As seen on TV.” They have all sorts of things I didn’t know i needed until I saw them! Great fun!

7. Unique traditions.

All families have them. . .and you can joke about some of these – especially if they’re unique.. . like getting liquored up and decorating the Christmas tree or having that one ragged decoration that HAS to go on top of the tree every year. If you’re kids are older, you can even joke about some of the junk they made for the tree when they were toddlers – don’t do it if they’re young as that will make them cry. Not festive at all.

8. Travel.

This is always funny, but particular during the holiday season because people who don’t know the ropes of traveling, are traveling. These people are perfect fodder for comedians as they attempt to stuff every stick of clothing they own into the storage bin. Oh and just now, while on this flight, some woman who is upset because she can’t sit next to her 17-year-old daughter (she got the dreaded C seat on Southwest) just yelled at the flight attendant “haven’t you heard about sex trafficing!” Oh, actually no, not on this airline or any others. I’m cracking up!

9. Song lyrics.

Seriously, if you really listen to some of the “traditional” songs we sing, the lyrics will crack you up – you can even change some of the lyrics to say something about what you’re feeling about the season. Make fun of song lyrics or change ’em. . . both can be funny.

10. Repeat Stories.

This is the time of year when people get together and forget that they’ve told a story a billion times! Listen to those stories because they are usually:  A. about long gone relatives, so kinda fair game to joke about, B. comedy gold because many of them are full of humor without you having to add much. So really pay attention and don’t tune those redundant story tellers out!

Tis the season to be thankful,

and us comedians are VERY thankful of all these things we can joke about. Have fun and enjoy your holidays – they’ll be a lot funnier if you pay attention!