People think they can say ANYTHING to a comedian and why not? They’re a comedian, they can take a joke. Right? Well, sure, but there are still things that you should NOT say to a comedian.

Why? Because number one, these things are rude and number two we hear them all the time so they aren’t original. So I came up with this list of 5 things you shouldn’t say to a comedian.

For your next comedy writing exercise,

think of 5 things that you get asked ALL THE TIME. And then come up with some funny answers. Here’s my five, and my funny answers.

Have a great weekend,


And check out my website for comedy keynotes. Click Here.

Check out my keynotes – Click Here.

Here’s the 5 Things Not to Say to a Comedian

  1. “I’m really funny, I should be a comedian.” Comedy is HARD. The easier it looks, the harder we’ve worked. You wouldn’t say that to a trained surgeon – “I’m really good at cutting things, I could do your job!” So don’t say it to us.

2. “Here’s a joke you can use.” No, we can’t. We write our own material, and we write from our experience. Telling us a joke is fine . . . but saying we should use it is not. That’s like saying, oh, you’re a realtor? Well here’s some tips on selling a house. And no, I’ve never actually sold one, but still . . .

3. “Tough crowd.” Yes, we know. Trying to commensurate with us that it was a bad show only makes us feel worse. Instead, point out something you liked and be positive. Next time you screw up in a meeting, do you really want your boss to say “well, that was awful!”

4. “I’ve never heard of you/Why aren’t you famous?” There’s a LOT that goes into being famous besides talent. Connections, a “look,” or simply being in the right place at the right time all factor into fame. My come back line . . . you work for XYZ company, why aren’t you the boss? Being famous is like being the boss at your company. . . and if you are the boss. Then I guess you get to say that one! LOL.

5. “How much do you make?” Yes some people think comedy is not a “real” job, so it’s okay to ask what I get for a gig. But you wouldn’t ask your non-comic friends that question, so don’t ask us. I usually answer with “I’ll tell you what I make if you tell me your salary.”

5 Things Not to Say to a Comedian
5 Things Not to Say to a Comedian