Dialing For Dollars
In my line of work, there’s a lot of
cold calling. Sure I get work through agents and bureaus, but the majority of my work i get through “dialing for dollars.” And while you may not need to make cold calls to bring in an income, you still will need to occasionally call people that you either don’t want to, don’t know, or for some other reason. Humor, in these cases, can be your friend.
I’m not saying you should
start in on the jokes. . .almost nothing is worse than a comedian who is “on” all the time. I’ve been around those people, and it’s like they have to have constant approval that they are funny. BUT what I am saying
is that you can look for ways, during your conversation to find humor.
Performing is the easiest part of comedy!
When i call someone, for example,
and they’ve got a tough name to pronounce, then instead of me hacking up their name (which irrates them), I usually kick off with saying something like “can i speak with Joe I’m-going-to-mspronounce-his-name” . . . I don’t make fun of the name, and I don’t change the name, but I let the phone answerer (who is sometimes Joe himself) know that I am going to butcher the name. Sure this flags the receptionst that I don’t know Joe personally, but hey, when i butcher his name, it’ll be pretty obvious anyway. My method will usually prompt a laugh AND the person will correct me with the pronunciation. Then we’ve established a little rapport.
Or if I get to talk with Joe, and he
is so excited about my keynotes that he gives me his email so I can send him my information, and the email is really long, then I usually come back with “you don’t get much spam do you?” They’ve heard the “wow, that’s a long emmail” comment enough. . . so use a different line.
How do I cold call and find these opportunites for humor? Well, here’s a few tips:
Relax – seriously, not everyone likes making these calls (I don’t mind ’em myself), but if you’re keyed up and tense, and you’re thinking about how much “unfun” it’s going to be, then you’ll only be focusing on getting your “elevator pitch” out and hanging out, instead of trying to build repoir (spelling). If you’re not trying to build even a tiny bit of a connection with the person you’ve called, then it won’t work.
Make a face — this is my method when I’ve screwed up something or when I’m talkng to someone who isn’t all that receptive. If nothing else, it makes me laugh, and then I’m more relaxed.
Close your eyes — This is the scarred cat way of cold calling and it works! The first time I told someone my fee for a corporate comedy show, I did this because I thought I was asking for an exorbinate
amount of money. The person didn’t blink. I know am asking for almost 4 times that amount. . .no eye closing. By closing your eyes, you can really focus on the conversation and block out other things like “oh
I see dishes in the sink that need washing” or “Which cat hacked up that furball.”
Which brings me to my next point. . .Be Present – make sure you’re doing something to stay present during the conversation. When I present a keynote about using humor, I emphasize the importance of being present as a way to find humor in the situation. . .if you are focused on other stuff, you won’t notice the humor right in front of you. So do a breathing exercise, meditate for a few minutes, or anything else you can think of to get back in the moment so
you give yourself a fighting chance of finding the funny.
And finally . . laugh. There’s a reason they call it “smiling and dialing.” Laughing and smiling really does come across on the phone. . .as does frowning and dreading the conversation. So force a smile, or a laugh, and it’ll help with the connection.
Thanks for reading,
Jan
www.TheWorkLady.com – my main website
www.JanFanS.com – Facebook Fan Page
www.ComedyEmcee.com – Emcee Page
Covering With Comedy
On several occasions in my 20+ years of comedy,
I’ve been performing at an event in which the food was an issue! As in the people who paid for dinner, didn’t get it. Once I actally went in for the sound check a couple hours early. It was just me and the hotel staff and I asked where the banquet head table would be. The staff replied “no food tonight.” I said, “oh, I’m pretty sure there’s food. I’m speaking AFTER DINNER.” The staff came back with “no, no food being served.” After a few more minutes of this, I decided I should tell the client – I hesitated because she was pregnant at the time and I didn’t want her to deliver! But tell her I did, and we got food that night – I think it was spaghetti. . . but it was food.
That was a situation in which
we had some control or at least time to get the spaghetti in the pot. But there have been other times when the food ran out before I went on stage. Now the client obviously knows about this. . . the only question for me is – what do I do? Or as Hamlet would say — To Joke or not to Joke – that is the question.
Sure covering with comedy can
help the situation. . .but it can also hurt the situation if you’re not careful. Case in point, I once performed for 4400 people in which they ran out of dinners for 1500 people. It was plated (not a buffet) so basically someone miscounted by 1500. Math isn’t a strong suit for many people, but come on. . .that was bad. As a comedian, I wanted to get on stage, look behind the curtain behind me and say “hey, look, I found them!” I KNEW it would get a big laugh. . . BUT I also knew that several people had stormed out because they were so mad – this was the organization’s “employee appreciation dinner” AND the client was backstage crying AND there was nothing she could do about it – it was a catered event. Knowing these 3 things, made me skip my comedic instincts to joke around. . .and instead, just do my act without saying anything. One of my rules for using humor is to not use it if people are hostile – and some of the people in this group were hostile. As it turned out, that was a good choice.
At another event, several years ago,
squint and u can c Kid Rock on stage in Vegas
I was performing at the Flamingo hotel in Las Vegas, when, you guessed it, they ran out of meals. This time though, there was a cook on-site who was able to whip up something else, no one was crying, and everyone got fed. . .albeit a little later than they wanted. BUT I had a great opportunity for humor as I realized we were at the Flamingo hotel. . . “for those of you who got the dinners late, we’re sorry we ran out, but the cook was able to cook something up. Of course I noticed that the pond outside is missing some Flamingos.” It got a big laugh and acknowledged what people were going through. That was an appropriate time to joke.
Covering with comedy
CAN help the situation, but it can also make the situation worse if you don’t understand the whole situation. Get your facts right and make an informed decision before you use comedy to cover up a snafu.
Jan
www.TheWorkLady.com
www.ComedyEmcee.com
Excellent Opportunities For Humor – NOW!
Get your pens ready!
Tis the season. . . for the best comedy ideas on the planet because the holidays are upon us! So I dedicate this blog to 10 things you can safely joke about during the holidays – you’ll have LOTS of material if you pay attention. And no, you don’t have to make people feel bad if their food item didn’t turn out right or they’ve gained a few pounds. There’s plenty of other things to pay attention to:
1. Eating too much . ..
as long as you make it personal, as in YOU ate too much or we are all eating too much (don’t single someone out!), you can joke about the amount of food you stuffed in your mouth, the fact that you’re making new food combinations (broccoli with a pumpkin pie chaser– yum), or a myriad of other food-related jokes. Guaranteed everyone is eating too much, so we can all relate to that.
2. The amount of food available. . .
compare the amount of food to something funny or talk about the table collapsing under the weight. We all know there is too much food. And we are all still stuffing it into our mouths (see above!)
3. The leftovers. . .
But sadly we can’t stuff it ALL into our bellies – so there will be leftovers! Of course don’t point out that Aunt Sally’s jello pudding is ALWAYS leftover. But you can have fun with the fact that people push leftovers on each other. . .and/or 50 things you can do with leftover dinner rolls. Even the word leftover brings up funny thoughts.
Cat and Dog clothing can be hilarious!
4. Christmas clothing.
The ugly Christmas sweater actually got famous for being ugly, and in turn, inspired a bunch of parties! This of course also includes clothing for our precious pets! So go to the mall and notice what people (and their animals) are wearing. . . not only will it give you comedy, but you can check it against what YOU’RE wearing so your outfit doesn’t become a punchline.
5. Santa.
He’s not just for kids to enjoy. . . look closely at the mall Santas – they really do come in all shapes and sizes. . . and attitudes. Start noticing them and you’ll have great material.
6. Gifts.
NOT the ones people gave you! When movie cameras first came out, about 100 years ago, my brother and I did a video making fun of all the stupid gifts that some of the relatives gave us. Guess who we could show that video to? Right, pretty much just the two of us . . . it was funny, but kinda mean. So don’t make fun of what people gave you because they (usually) mean well. . . but rather look at the crap in the stores – the holidays bring out some of the weirdest “gift ideas.” I love the stores that sell the “As seen on TV.” They have all sorts of things I didn’t know i needed until I saw them! Great fun!
7. Unique traditions.
All families have them. . .and you can joke about some of these – especially if they’re unique.. . like getting liquored up and decorating the Christmas tree or having that one ragged decoration that HAS to go on top of the tree every year. If you’re kids are older, you can even joke about some of the junk they made for the tree when they were toddlers – don’t do it if they’re young as that will make them cry. Not festive at all.
8. Travel.
This is always funny, but particular during the holiday season because people who don’t know the ropes of traveling, are traveling. These people are perfect fodder for comedians as they attempt to stuff every stick of clothing they own into the storage bin. Oh and just now, while on this flight, some woman who is upset because she can’t sit next to her 17-year-old daughter (she got the dreaded C seat on Southwest) just yelled at the flight attendant “haven’t you heard about sex trafficing!” Oh, actually no, not on this airline or any others. I’m cracking up!
9. Song lyrics.
Seriously, if you really listen to some of the “traditional” songs we sing, the lyrics will crack you up – you can even change some of the lyrics to say something about what you’re feeling about the season. Make fun of song lyrics or change ’em. . . both can be funny.
10. Repeat Stories.
This is the time of year when people get together and forget that they’ve told a story a billion times! Listen to those stories because they are usually: A. about long gone relatives, so kinda fair game to joke about, B. comedy gold because many of them are full of humor without you having to add much. So really pay attention and don’t tune those redundant story tellers out!
Tis the season to be thankful,
and us comedians are VERY thankful of all these things we can joke about. Have fun and enjoy your holidays – they’ll be a lot funnier if you pay attention!
Cheers!
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